A Dinner Dilemma: What Do You Disclose and When?

Here's the Scenario:

Marcus bakes a large Buffalo Chicken Pizza to split with his buddy, Tom. Marcus relishes his perfection of this recipe, and Tom is excited to experience the new flavor combination. The pizza is ready, and Marcus is ecstatic. He loves the creation and takes two pieces for himself, savoring his first large bite. Tom hopes to do the same, but he finds the blend of mozzarella, bleu cheese, and buffalo-marinara to be a bit much. What is the more loving response from Tom: 

1) To eat the food he's been given in hopes of developing a taste for it or, at least, not hurting Marcus' feelings; then perhaps, later tell Marcus how he felt?

or

2) To gently inform Marcus that he doesn't particularly care for what he's been given, and he'd like Marcus to finish it, as he will enjoy it more than Tom will?

What do you think? I am on the fence. If I were Marcus, I would want #2, freeing Tom from the burden of having to eat something that he did not like and allowing me to enjoy more of a a food I savor. But I believe that #2 is also initially more difficult/embarrassing for both parties. What about you? Is there a better solution? 

I am really looking for feedback here. This has been bugging me, not based on personal experience but consideration for the future. 

15 Things I Learned from Publishing My First Novel

Here's some stuff I learned between Stronghold's inception and completion. I hope it helps:

1. Your characters don't need to "shake their heads 'no'" or "nod in agreement". If they are shaking their heads, the reader understands that they disagree. If they nod, the reader knows it's in agreement.

2. ‘Repelling’ and ‘rappelling’ mean very different things, and the latter can only be used when ropes are involved.

3. Commas and periods at the end of quotation marks always go inside quotation marks, except when they don’t. When do they not? No one really knows; ergo, put your commas and periods inside the quotation marks if they come at the end of the quotation marks.

4. Using two synonyms in the same sentence does not imbue the given actions with more weight; it simply makes them redundant. If a character "ponders and muses” on something in a single sentence, he or she basically “muses and muses.” Just say it once and hold the other synonym for the next time the character does the action in another paragraph. This will improve your prose overall.

5. Exclamation points do not necessarily lose their power if you use them, but when you use them, you are admitting to some degree that your prose lacks the syntax of an implied exclamation point—which is a different problem altogether. If you come to an exclamation point, consider how to re-write the sentence so that the prose itself demands urgency, shock, or impact. If you cannot, then get over it and use the exclamation point. When you're done the whole book, go on a hunt for the exclamation points. If I can go from 140 to 6, you can too (and I think you should). 

6. Despite all I have said above, when it comes to grammar, syntax, and style, nothing is universal, and no one agrees on anything, ever, about anything; therefore, do your best and remain consistent within your text. Rules for dialog and grammar will melt your face and make your brain explode. Seriously, these are the worst. Accept it. Bear it. Endure it.

7. And be prepared to lose your mind a bit, especially if you are self-publishing. You will ache over whether a semi-colon’s use is appropriate or why you should or should not capitalize the first letter in an independent clause after a colon. These things will test you. If you find this process invigorating and you can appreciate having to labor over these choices, congrats--you may in the right business. If not, well, you may still be in the right business, but you will have to pay much more money to an editor to do this heavy lifting for you. Just remember: readers will disagree. In fact, as far as punctuation goes, what one reader corrects another may allow, so rather than making sure you are always correct on your punctuation, make sure you can defend your punctuation choices. That way, when you get corrected, you can at least plead your case on the basis of intent--and intent can go a long way if your content is strong.

8. The following mantra must dictate all self-editing: if you don’t like it, the reader will hate it; cut accordingly.

9. No one is as in love with your prose as you are, and that one sentence about which you are the most proud—the one that speaks to your intellect and virtuous sentence construction—is likely the one that will stop readers in their tracks and make them say, “huh?” Again, cut accordingly.

10. In tandem with the above, write for the audience, of whom you are a part; therefore, tell a story in such a way that it moves you and be confident that by virtue of your humanity, it will move someone else. Oh, and be willing to accept that it may be only one other person.

11. Every draft is an opportunity to make the work better. Yes, revisions will feel tedious, even useless after the first dozen drafts; but remember, you do not want to write something good: you want to write something honest and excellent. Every draft gets you closer to that goal.

12. On the flip side, at some point the book has to be done. You can agonize over word choices or sections of dialogue or that chapter you love but doesn’t work; but in the end, if you want to finish a novel, at some point you need to lay it down and call it finished…and mean it. And live with it. This is perhaps the hardest part of writing.

13. You cannot go it alone.  Well, you can, but you probably shouldn’t. You have talent, but it only goes so far. Others can see the weak links in your chain mail; they can find that Achilles’ heal you’ve left unguarded. Find those people. Trust them. Listen to them. Let them make your work better. Be gracious toward them; ask them to be patient with you. Do not become frustrated with their critiques or questions, and do not let your ego get bloated by their praise. Love them, value their opinion, and compensate them for their bearing with you.  You will not regret it, because you need them.

14. But you cannot expect others to value your project like you do. You cannot place expectations on them to treat your work with the same love that you do. Your book is your baby, not theirs; and you cannot expect them to have the same level of investment that you do. You must separate that from your relationship with them; you have to accept any support that you receive with thankfulness and expect nothing beyond it. This is imperative; and if you fail to accept it, your heart will be broken, repeatedly, by countless people. Don’t let that happen. Accept the reality that you have a bond to your project that no one can understand or emulate, and this is not a shortcoming on the part of the other, it is simply a reality that you must process.

15. People won’t like your book, and they do not have to in order to like you. Of course, they may not like you either.

That's it. For now. More will come to mind, probably two minutes after I publish this, but it's still a solid start. Writing is like boxing, and every project is a fight. You are putting on a show for an audience. You get hit, but you keep coming. You have folks in your corner to bandage you up and get you ready to survive that next round. They don’t bleed when you bleed, but they hurt when you hurt, and they savor your victories. So, let’s get back into the ring and take hits on our way to landing that knock out punch. Maybe the fight you’re in now knocks you out first. Try to get up. Maybe you can’t. Get into the ring with another opponent. Your next fight might be the one that makes you a champion. I hope it is, and I hope I’m in the audience to see it.

Thanks all, keep writing, 

C.J.

Being a Modern-Day Pharisee...and Repenting

The Bible says a great deal about the Pharisees. Even if one does not know them by said title, the average self-proclaiming Christian knows their traits and their positions. They've simply become part of the Christian dialogue, mainly because of their great enemy--their great threat.

The Pharisees were the religious teachers and spiritual gatekeepers in their day, and their great threat was Jesus Christ, the incarnation of the very God the Pharisees claimed to follow. Though the Pharisees were recognized by the people as upholders of traditions and supposed truth, Jesus Christ called them to task constantly and unapologetically, bringing to light their hypocrisy and oppressive teachings.

But I have an important question that my fellow Christians and I must constantly address: are we the Pharisees of today?

I consider this, for the Pharisees of old followed the Law and the Prophets, given to the people of Israel centuries earlier as a foundation for their religious practices. Over time, the priests and religious leaders of Israel developed a more restrictive form of the original law. These religious persons were, according to Christ, "children of hell", for through their greed, pride, and hypocrisy, they oppressed those seeking the true knowledge of God.

Similarly, the modern Christian church is now two thousand years removed from Christ's physical presence here on earth. We use ancient texts of the New Testament, in addition to the Law and Prophets, to create the basis of our beliefs and practices. In an ever-more postmodern culture, we consider ourselves gatekeepers of spiritual truth. We have our religious festivals, our traditions, and our restrictions on behavior. So, the question must be asked: are we following in the footsteps of the Pharisees, and if so, how would Christ respond to us?

I am not going to speak for anyone but myself in answer to this question, and I must acknowledge my sin and repent. Too often, I see attitudes and behaviors in my own life that echo Christ's enemies more than Christ himself. And what fascinates me about my own pharisaic mindset is that it forms not by intention but by the natural progression of human arrogance left unchecked. The process works as follows: I find a spiritual weakness in my own life, and I confront it through action; when I later see what I perceive as the same flaw in another who makes no effort to change, I judge them--not actively through thinking about it but passively in my instinctual gut reaction of believing myself more spiritual than that other person. This insidious, pharisaic attitude sneaks upon me like a virus and infects my heart to a degree that I do not see, and it shows itself at moments I least expect. I don't know about you, but I am guilty.

I do not find it coincidental that this occurs among modern Christians. Frankly, I believe that God, in his infinite wisdom, sent Christ to the earth at a time when he would be in direct conflict with the Pharisees, because God also knew that Christ's followers would, over time, fall into the same sinful patterns that the Pharisees did. As the master storyteller, the Lord constructed the historical narrative in such a fashion that the failure of religious leaders in the past would serve as a direct warning to religious persons in the future, particularly those who claim to follow the highest rabbi of all, Jesus Christ, who took these false religious leaders to task. May he do the same time to us through his words in Scripture and the leading of the Holy Spirit.

If he convicts you of such a sin--of being merely religious rather than loving, seeking greed instead of good, and longing for an increase to your earthly kingdom rather than God's heavenly one, rally against your sin through repentance. God knows the soul; God knows the mind, and "a broken and contrite heart [he] will not despise" (Psalm 51).

Thanks for reading,

C

June Links

WRITING
Help! My ebook Isn't Selling! 10 Questions you need to answer honestly if you want to sell more books.
Thoughts, tips, and insights to help get your book to the next level of quality and sales

The Impact of Writing on the Brain
An amazing infographic on the power of words and prose on the brain


CULTURE
Paradise Lost: Forgotten Virtue of Star Trek
A great article from a fellow Biola grad on the reason J.J. Abrams' new Trek films don't really fit into the canon of that property or brand

Catching Up With Time in the "Before" and "Up" Films
Great insights on two of my favorite film series of all time

1 Million Men to Fight Pornography Addiction
One pastor's mission to get men to dedicate themselves to the battle against pornography

Summer Reading for College Graduates
Great book list from Mere-O and Brett McKracken

Richard Linklater on Small Filmmaking
One of America's most unique directors discusses the current climate of the industry

Youth Workers Respond to Pornography
Youth discuss how the church can fight one of today's most pressing battles.

Listening to Young Atheists
Interesting study on young atheists in America

Why #FitchtheHomeless Backfires
Fascinating look at how the homeless have responded to the Abercrombie and Fitch debacle

LIFE
From A Single's Heart

An open letter of sorts from a single, female Christian missionary to the church.

The Wilderness Time of Spiritual Growth
Wonderful encouragement for those in a tough place

How to Hate Your Life
Some insight from John Piper

What 'Happily Ever After' Really Looks Like
A very encouraging article on one wife and husband

In Which Jesus Is Shown To Be Better Than a Facebook Friend
John Mark Reynolds' wonderful thoughts on Jesus and Facebook.

Still Serving Food
A wonderful piece on working hard at any job

You Are Loved.

This post was originally going to be about Lego or the Fast and Furious franchise, but I ran with the following instead. Just felt led to share...

We are all hurting people. Life is hard, harder than any of us imagined it would be. The realities of interpersonal relationships, demands on our time and energy, and overarching stressors placed on us by both ourselves and others can be truly draining. Some of us hurt often and deeply. Some of us feel lost. But dear readers, please hear me now:

You are more loved than you realize.

You may not feel it. You may not know it. But it's true.

People love you. They may be near; they may be far, but they do. People to whom you have not spoken in some time or seen--they love you. People whom you've hurt or wounded--some have forgiven you, and they love you. In fact, the people who have hurt you, who are too embarrassed or ashamed to reach out to you, some of them may love you too. You may never hear from them again, but they are out there. You are loved, if at a distance.

And God loves you. He is ever-present despite being so far above us, and his love runs more deeply than any person's. His love is the best love: an unconditional love for you in your darkest moments and while you endure your deepest wounds. His love fills voids you did not know you possessed. His love satisfies your longing and covers over a multitude of hurts. You may not be accepting it, but it is available to you. And it is very, very real.

For those of you broken, those of you hurting, those of you in need of just a little affirmation, just know you're not alone as you head into the weekend. Live in that reality, and enjoy your weekend.

C

PS - If you have it in you, reach out to those you love, tell them. Be brave in telling them. Let them know. And know that you are loved also.

Stronghold's Live...Now What?

So, what does an author do after he releases his first, self-published novel. Well, I know what this author did: kept working. According to my worklog, I didn't take a breather until Saturday after Stronghold went live, and I didn't really take another until the following Sunday, when I participated in a Fast and Furious Franchise partial marathon.

So why I am still putting in hours six days a week? Frankly, I still have too much to do. Stunk's Bricks Pics, The 3LC Blog, soliciting reviews, contacting ministry professionals and pastors--well, in many ways the release was just the start of another phase of the project. The bulk of my time since May 28, 2013, has been spent fielding e-mails, researching possible contacts, establishing contacts, and trying, albeit to a lesser degree than I would like, to write.

As many of you know, I am trying to develop a study-guide for Stronghold, which has been a strain, to say the least. Additionally, I have one draft of a young adult romance novel finished, but it is in dire need of massive re-writes, and I do not know how I am going to get it where it needs to be. Then there's the fantasy novel that I've drafted, which too, is in need of repair and possibly, a "return to formula" (here is my initial response to re-reading the draft after finishing it).

And then there's the projects on the horizon. National Novel Write Month is coming in 5 months, and in order to avoid last year's debacle (again, see above review), I am trying to not only verify the project I will write but also outline it so that my time spent in November (writing the first draft in 30 days) will prove profitable. Plus, there's a handful of ancillary things happening. I have re-established my writing relationship with Figures.com (my first piece is posted here), and I am hoping to put together a few other pieces or pitches for other publications in order to build my portfolio. Then there's the comic idea with which I've fallen in love and desperately want to write, as time allows.

I guess, what I mean to say is that the work doesn't stop when the big project is done. If you want to take writing seriously, you work. In some ways you may feel you work harder after the big release. The "crunch" of a deadline may have passed, but the reality of being a writer is ever present. Of course, I am also speaking as one who does not have a full time job yet. What will happen to my timetables and project schedule once I obtain one I do not know, but I am certain that it will affect things radically.

I hope you will continue to join me on my journey. If you were kind enough to buy Stronghold but were left disappointed, I apologize. As I've said, I sincerely believe it is the best book I could have written at present, and I am trying to make the next one even better. If you read Stronghold and loved it, I hope to continue fulfilling your expectations with my next work, whichever one that is. If you're not on board with the book but you are a fan of the blog, thank you; your coming here does not go unnoticed, and with each increase in readership I am encouraged that I am doing something right.

So, here we are, looking forward with great expectation. Together. I hope this little corner of the internet brings you some level of entertainment or encouragement. Thank you all again, so very much,

C

A Few Thoughts on Preparing One's Testimony

I have been recalling, composing, and revising my testimony in preparation for possibly speaking at churches in the upcoming year. The process has been encouraging, exhausting, and terrifying all at the same time.  On the one hand, looking at my life as a narrative has been a very enlightening experience. I have seen points from the past directly inform the present. I have witnessed motifs and decisions that seem to pervade my personhood. I have seen my life more fully as a story.

In many ways, its normal. And simple. In others, its somewhat unique or compelling (at least as far as I'm concerned). What's fascinating to me is that the supposed "big mountaintop moments" I assumed would shape me right after they happened have been forgotten in the overarching narrative over time. The real factors that have informed who I have become appear to be the day-to-day choices that became habits, or the consistent patterns that emerged in the background of living. I have found some stunning clarity in reviewing life this way, even as my findings are, at times, disconcerting.

Additionally, I am struck by my relationship to God in all of this. Whether I was "on fire" or dulled to lukewarmness or simply apathetic and cold, I see instances of provision, of divine help, of a writer at work behind the scenes--not only paying off set-ups from a decade or two previous but also preparing me for another encounter or event I could not foresee as the season of training for it took place.

The more I look back on my years of wandering, the more I see that God, either directly or indirectly, has delivered me from folly more than I care to admit. I see him motivating good choices, or allowing me to make the bad ones, then later taking the emotional and mental consequences of those poor decisions and gaining some glory from them. Some I still see as having no benefit or positive outcomes (yet), but given all that I have now seen, I am hopeful that God can still use them.

But perhaps more telling than any other facet of this exercise is this: God is patient. Very patient.

You see, I am a broken person. I do not mean this in the sense that "nobody's perfect, esp. not me" but in the sense that I have deep-rooted issues and shameful flaws. I really do. And everyone I know only sees them in bits and pieces, usually by accident. But God--God sees them all, all the time. He does not get to be protected from them. He knows the ill-thoughts that I never voice, the dark imaginings that I never confess, the harsh judgements I keep hidden, and the great hurts I will not share. And yet, in all of that, I believe that he loves me. He loves me with a love that I cannot fathom, a love that I do not deserve and could not reciprocate on this side of eternity.

The Bible is powerful. The stories of others are compelling. And perhaps this is my Westernized individualism speaking, but frankly, I don't know of anything that has shown me the love of God with as much potency as his love for me despite myself, especially when taking the fullness of my life into consideration. The fact that the Creator of the universe, who is so above everything, would dare to love a broken creature like me, is more telling than anything. What a friend we have in Jesus, whose reconciliatory act on the cross allows this relationship to occur. How amazing it is that he would come to this earth and make himself so available to those so undeserving. Persons like me. Perhaps like you.

What does your life look like as a story? Do you see God in its telling? Do you see his mercy, his patience, and his grace with you? Do you not see how much his love is poured out for you, and how badly he wants for you to see it, know it, and follow him? If you don't, look harder. You may just fall in love with him all over again. And that'll be a story with telling.

Thanks for reading,
C

Missing the Mark in the Prior Year and Looking Toward the Next

Twelve months ago, I developed a list of 30 things to accomplish while I was age 30.  I divided the list into "Life Goals", "Personal Projects", and "Learning" and listed 10 things in each category. These were not outlandish things; they ranged from the small "Give 30 toys to charity" or "Learn how to make my sister-in-law's oatmeal cookies" to the large things like "Follow the Lord's leading to move back east" and "have 15K in savings". At the time, I assumed these goals would be attainable. Looking back on them now, I realize that they were. They were totally attainable, but I blew it.

At first, I was not sure why, either. I am relatively disciplined person. I can keep myself on task throughout the day, and I can both develop and maintain a schedule, especially when I have a self-imposed deadline or goal. How in the world did I drop the ball on my 30x30 list?

After some reflection, I think I have my answer, and I am actually okay with it--which is either a personal step toward giving myself more grace or becoming slothful (I haven't yet decided which one). Here's the bottom line: Making a 30x30 list was a novelty, not a need; and in the face of all that I was doing this year, I simply made no time for it. Sure, I had certain bullet points in the back of my mind, to "read 30 books", for example; but other items, like "learn to build a backyard pull-up apparatus", were forgotten as they had no bearing on my major goals like completing Stronghold, getting a job, or working toward membership in a church (but as many of you know I have not completed all of those goals, either).

I also took a step back from the list and asked myself, "Okay, you did not do X,Y, or Z, but what did you do? What were your A, B, and C, achievements?" This, too, changed the game. Case in point,  I wanted to memorize 30 portions of Scripture, but I only hit 18. Fail. But the passages I memorized were, for the most part, contextualized, not singular verses, which is something to consider. Yeah, I failed to "learn how to grill fruit", but I learned how to publish a book. Maybe that can be a wash.

So, I now have a choice, I could look toward the upcoming year and make a 31x31 or I could just sit for an hour or two and really focus on a few things that I feel I must complete based on my immediate needs, life goals, and overarching desire to grow in Christ and develop as a human being--in ways beyond bullet points like "get a passport". I may develop that list and post it, similarly to how I did around New Years, but I have not decided. Ultimately, I want to live intentionally and mindfully in order to be a better human being and example of Christ to the world. That extends far beyond completing a gimmicky list of bullet points, and it takes far more diligence as well. Here's hoping I have it in my 31st year.

As always, thanks for reading,
C.J.

Many Thanks to You All

Last week, my first novel, Stronghold, went live for sale on Amazon in print and digital formats. The release day was full of ups-and-downs, and the week that followed was no different. The excitement of completing a major project was followed by the drop in adrenaline, and the realization of being so vulnerable and laid bare in the work began to make me feel altogether frightened of what others would think of me after the fact, not only as a writer but as a person. These emotional valleys were escaped eventually by not only seeking the Lord and encouragement in his Word but also through constant encouragement and support from others, and inasmuch as I felt the experience deeply, I look forward to my next novel and the slightly more aggressive release to accompany it. 

But that day is some distance from now, and this post is not about that, or me, really. This post is about all of you. A week after Stronghold has hit, I have confirmed one thing: this is a hard gig, this writing thing, but those of you who offer your support, encouragement, and enthusiasm make it a little easier and tremendously rewarding. I want to thank you for the facebook messages, the kind words, the "shares", the "likes", and, of course, the purchases. Given that I have not had a paycheck for some time now, I better recognize the value of money, and the time commitment needed to earn it. Your spending it on my book is a sign of trust that I will provide you something of value, and that transaction is far more humbling to me than I thought it would be. I do not say this flippantly: I truly am moved that you feel my work is worth your time and money. I hope--oh how I truly hope--that when all is said and done that you feel the purchase was worth every penny you spent and every minute you invested. Please let me know what you thought after you've finished it (and you can offer constructive criticism; I can handle it--most days, anyway). 

That being said, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, a thousand times. I hope that in some way at some point, I can enrich your lives in the same degree that you've enriched mine. 

Scripture Memory: Psalm 51

Sin is an aspect of life with which we all need to contend. Humans are fallible; they commit wrongs. They hurt each other with intent, and they hurt God without remorse. We do these things because we are born into brokenness, internally within our souls and externally within the world around us. For some individuals, this is not a problem. This is just the way things are.

For me, this is hard. I hate my sin, both the thoughts and the actions. I hate to hurt others; I hate to hurt to God, and I hate that I do both so flippantly and so often. Though I strive for excellence, though I long to live righteously, my sinful heart continues to show how badly I am in need of God's grace and mercy. 

This reality leads me to Psalm 51 time and time and time again. In the past month, I've dedicated this Psalm to memory (again, in song, which I will refrain from sharing for the benefit of your ears), and I have had to sing it in confession on more than one day since cementing it in my mind. Psalm 51 is a Psalm of David following his lusting toward Bathsheba, taking her as his wife, and murdering her husband Uriah. Despite the egregious actions and events leading to this psalm's composition, the text itself is beautiful: 

Have mercy on me, O God,

according to your steadfast love;

according to your abundant mercy 

blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,

and cleanse me from my sin!

For I know my transgressions, 

and my sin is ever before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned

and done what is evil in your sight,

so that you may be justified in your words 

and blameless in your judgement.

Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, 

and in sin did my mother conceive me. 

Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, 

and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. 

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; 

wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 

Let me hear joy and gladness; 

let the bones that you have broken rejoice. 

Hide your face from my sins, 

and blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

 and renew a right spirit within me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation 

and uphold me with a willing spirit. 

Then I will reach trangressors your ways, 

and sinners will return to you. 

Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, 

O God of my salvation, 

and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness. 

O Lord, open my lips, 

and my mouth will declare your praise. 

For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; 

you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; 

a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Do good to Zion in your good pleasure; 

build up the walls of Jerusalem; 

then will you delight in right sacrifices, 

in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; 

then bulls will be offered on your altar. 

I could dissect and deconstruct this psalm for pages, but I won't today. I will simply leave you with a question. Does your sin wound you to your core like it wounded David? Granted, David wrote this after some truly despicable deeds: lust, adultery, and murder. His sins were grievous and had horrific consequences. But ours do also, perhaps not to the same degree but certainly to some degree. His sin led him into grief, contrition, and utter brokenness before God. Where does your sin lead you? 

“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^® (ESV^®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”