After 10 months of unemployment, I will be stepping back into a full-time job on Monday, July 22 (Lord willing). This has been equal parts exciting and frightening. I have had moments of questioning: What if I'm not capable of the job? What if they don't like me? What about this neurosis, that area of improvement, or other possible challenges? Yes, my friends, I think these things, the common questions asked by those with enough awareness to know their limitations.
Of course, to end my musings with those questions would be unhealthy, both for my employer and for me. My heart should not be one of trepidation. I know that the Lord has given me abilities: finesse, diligence, and critical thinking. I also know that God opened this door. The details of my getting this job are interesting, and while I will not write of them in full here, I will admit that I see "divine fingerprints" in the supposed happenstances that surround my receiving this gig.
Frankly, I feel that I am moving into this next phase for a reason, though I do not yet see it fully. And while any doubts of performance may linger beneath the surface, I am approaching this new endeavor with excitement over the opportunity and an enthusiasm to do well, to honor those who have chosen me, to make them feel validated in their decision to do so. Some days will be hard, to be sure, but nothing of value is simple.
But when I come back to the issue of my writing--to the fact that I lived the life of a full-time writer for 10 months and in that time accomplished things by God's grace and to his glory--I take a certain level of healthy satisfaction in what I experienced, even as that phase is ending. Now, I look toward the weeks and months to come, and I am uncertain how my writing career will be affected. I do not know if this will mean that the blogging must be significantly reduced or the future book projects must be put on hiatus or, at the very least, a delayed timeline. I simply do not know. And I do not think I will for some time. This, too, leads to reflective questions.
Please continue to journey with me as I explore my opportunities and attempt to find balance. Please continue to pray for my wife and me, as my being employed will create some new dynamics we will need to navigate. Please continue to look to Christ, for my hope in all of these endeavors--long term, short term, full time, or for a moment--is for His glory, for His appearing more beautiful and worthy of worship.
Thanks for reading,